The Top 20 Breakup Mistakes and How To Get Your Ex Back Even If You'Ve Made Every One Of Them

 If you're going through a breakup right now, then your emotions are super charged and heightened and you're just not acting like yourself, am I right? Here are 20 of the most common breakup mistakes that will not only drive your ex completely crazy, but ensure that you'll never get back together. I'll reveal what they are and then explain how you can clean your slate completely and still get it back.

I compiled my top 20 breakup mistakes after months of counseling men and women in 31 countries who were going through a very painful breakup. I encourage you to read them and take notes if you need to, and keep reading to the end where I'll tell you how you can STILL get them back even if you've made every single mistake on this list!

Mistake #1 – Allowing your ex to completely control your life

You and your ex may not even realize they're doing it, or that you're actually allowing your ex to do it, but after your breakup, your gut reaction is to completely analyze virtually every aspect of your relationship and your breakup down to the brim. from going crazy.

This will accomplish nothing and will only keep you in the healing process.

Mistake #2 – Staying friends with your ex

Many heartbroken people stay friends with their ex for one reason - the hope that one day they will realize that they are truly meant to be together.

POORLY. Once you get into the friend trap, it is very hard to get out of it and I don't recommend it.

Mistake #3 – Bombarding your ex with text messages

Basically, you don't leave your ex alone because you don't want him to move on with his life without you.

This is one of the worst things you can do because often all it does is make them make the right decision to not be with you right now.

Mistake #5 – Sending angry emails to your ex

Just like above, when you make this mistake, you take out your anger on your ex for the pain they caused you.

THIS IS A NO-NO because all it will do is drive a potentially permanent wedge between you and make sure your ex moves on really fast.

Mistake #6 – Sending desperate emails to your ex

This mistake is different from the one in because instead of being angry, you are desperate. You're acting pretty miserable trying to get your ex to understand how much he broke your heart and how much you need him in your life.

When you act this way, you are acting demanding and also too desperate, and that is NOT attractive to your ex!

Mistake #7 – Ringing your ex all day long

Let's face it, you're not calling them with good intentions - are you calling them because you want to know where they are, are they home, who are they with, is anyone home with them?

This kind of harassing behavior could end up getting you served with an AVO, so hold on, this is no way to get your ex's attention!

Mistake #8 – Regularly stalking your ex at hangouts

Sure, you suddenly have a crazy desire to be with your ex - because if you're not there, how will they think of you when you're no longer together, right??

POORLY! Not only will it not look like a fluke, but it will really put your ex off, your friends and your ex's friends off, and you might end up with a nice little visit from the police!

Mistake #9 – Lending money to your ex

So you throw good money after bad money at your ex because you believe that this way you will be able to stay in touch with your ex and they will "owe" you.

WRONG AGAIN. You are setting yourself up for not only an emotional meltdown, but a financial meltdown as well... Once your ex knows he can come to you as his ATM, he will feed you lies and crap to make you feel like you are. they are special to them.....but there will always be a BUT!

Mistake #10 – Staying friends with your ex's family

While there's nothing wrong with being friendly with your ex's family, if you suddenly start hanging out with them in hopes of bumping into your ex, that's not a good thing.

Mistake #11 – Trying to make your ex jealous

The key to making someone jealous is not to show it. Unfortunately, many people aren't very good at it, and they make it clear when their interstate cousin's best friend plays their instant love interest when they come to town for a quick visit.

In fact, you'll be much happier if you move on with your life and don't be afraid to meet new people.

Mistake #12 – Having sex with your ex

Yeah, a colleague recently emailed me that we just broke up and we're seeing each other tomorrow for sex, is that okay?

Why do you think it's okay?

I mean, if you want to be your ex's boyfriend or girlfriend, you have to stop acting like his girlfriend or boyfriend when you're no longer in a relationship with them - otherwise what incentive will they have to get back together with you? .

Mistake #13 – Constantly asking your ex for a second chance

You can't do it without your ex, that's clear, but there's no need to let your ex know that all the time.

While it will certainly stroke their ego, it will probably drive them totally crazy, so lay low and you'll get much better results.

Mistake #14 – Badly wooing your ex's family and friends

Unless you plan on never getting back together with your ex, don't talk bad about him to everyone close to you. And definitely don't drop any juicy tidbits about how your ex would die if she knew you told them.

You have to think of the big picture here...Your ex will never come back to you unless she is 100% happy with it.

Mistake #15 – Badly wooing your ex to their family and friends

This is even more true for your ex's friends and family. Don't ever think for a second that they are keeping their conversations with your ex secret from them.

If you hurt her badly, you will not only send shock waves to your ex, but also to their friends and family!

Mistake #16 – Throwing pity parties

Another desperate attempt to get back together - your ex feels so sorry for you....some people even go so far as to say they will kill themselves if they don't get back with you.

Not only is that blackmail completely childish and an unfair kind of pressure to put on your ex - and your relationship, even if you did get back together, would have little chance of success!

Mistake #17 – You drive your friends and family crazy by constantly talking about your ex

Okay, this is going to hurt a little, but you had a life before your ex - and guess what - you managed to have some interesting conversations before you met your ex. So don't let your friends and family go totally crazy and isolate yourself from the people who really care about you.

Mistake #18 – Coming off as needy and clingy to your ex

It may be your gut reaction, but all this behavior will do is reinforce your ex's desire not to be with you because you are so high maintenance.

Mistake #19 – Threats and ultimatums

You are desperate and acting completely irrational and all you want is for your pain to go away, so you will do anything to get your ex back.

Handing out threats and ultimatums won't get you a happy ending, so instead act with self-respect and you'll be amazed at the difference.

Mistake #20 - Being vindictive

You're mad and you want them to hurt you, so you're going to get back at them, right??

POORLY! You have to think long term here.....this will not only piss off your ex but everyone they know and could also get you in big trouble with the law!

Hey, I said 20 breakup mistakes, but I'll add one more just in case, okay.

BONUS – Mistake #21 – Making false promises that you will change

Well, we all have little things about ourselves that we could probably improve on and some of them can be quite realistic...but others don't even bother.

While it's possible to improve yourself a bit, there's no point in pretending to be someone you're not, because your armor will drop when you least expect it, and you'll be alone again anyway.